Theme Restaurant Enthusiast Pillows

"Oh, we've been a theme restaurant for about a month now."

Tooters.

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

Advanced footsie

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Platter confusion.

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"....and hold the garlic."

'Whatever he's eating.'

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

'Can I get a box for this?'

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Wow!"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"Let me take that for you."

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Three Pigs.