Theatrical Sailor Gifts

Sailor

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

'Isn't he supposed to sit on your shoulder Captain?'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

"It doesn't say, Son, whether or not Noah wore a captain's hat."

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

Drunken singers in a public house

Sailing enthusiast brings his hobby to his office.

"I didn’t need to tie his hands—I just entered it into his GPS. In three feet, the destination is below you."

Titanic 2024: "Nope, no icebergs left."

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

"You may join the crew, Sir, but first you must promise never to write a book about us."

Sailor's pipe is a ship's funnel.

'Of course I know how to read the water, but I my glasses fell overboard.'

No Money

'Sam's not really a seafaring man but he can yo-ho-ho with the best of them.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."

A writer sails on the water chased by editing shears.

GREENLAND

Pirate

UFO Romance

Sea song.

'What type of line are you using?'

Book Sailing

Franken-Cat

Desert island sand pit with a little boy stranded.

'O.K. let's see, it's a book, a film, it's two words...Could it be Robinson Crusoe again Graham?'

'I'd like to diversify my portfolio. For a change, why don't you get me a stock that's not in a group I like to classify as 'losers?'

"Sorry about your boat. Who do I see about personal injury compensation?"

Row to Row

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

'I caught something, but it's not a fish. And speaking of fish, I think they know we're here.'

Noah's Publisher: 'No, I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you to embellish the truth for the sake of marketing...'