Theatrical Pirate Enthusiast Gifts

Pirate King

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Cannonball!'

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'Are we there yet?'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Pirate

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'