Pirate Culture Buff Gifts

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

Remote control pirate bully

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Teacher pointing to P,Q, on board: "OK class, which letter comes next? Redbeard, you should know this."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Piracy on a boating lake

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Look what I found. Can we keep him?" "Wow! A real pirate!!" "Go ask your mother."

The Dubloon Stops Here

'Are we there yet?'

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Buzz off, Fly-boy. We don't need more accessories."

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Shiver-me-timbers, wench! How many times have I got to tell you? I'm not winking at you!"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Pirate

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

tRUMp, Pirate President

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

'He's been there ever since he ate the parrot!'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."