Theatre Prompter Gifts

to be or not to be

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

Ballet dancer.

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"I'm going to run away and join the circus. Not one of those big, tacky ones—something more European and intimate."

Piano Prompt

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

Kissing Prompt

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.

Captain

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

"I know it is a digital production, but this cheque is a digit short."

'We could use more moving and shaking from you, Yomp, and less bobbing and weaving.'

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Page 33, line 4..."

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my wife!"

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

'Where did you learn to sing in double-Dutch?'

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

Candlestick at Night