Theatre Prompter Gifts

to be or not to be

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The Mouse King appears in the Nutcracker

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

Ballet dancer.

"For my next trick, I'll require an audience."

Samuel Beckett

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"I'm going to run away and join the circus. Not one of those big, tacky ones—something more European and intimate."

Kissing Prompt

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Piano Prompt

Travelling jesters. No fools left aboard overnight.

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

'We could use more moving and shaking from you, Yomp, and less bobbing and weaving.'

"Quiet? I'd even read for the understudy part for someone who is between engagements."

"I know it is a digital production, but this cheque is a digit short."

Captain

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

Shakespeare begins a play about a ship's captain and a white whale... and realizes he's never even been on a boat.

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

"Page 33, line 4..."

The Don't-Quit-Your-Day-Job Comedic Revue

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

The play was soo much fun! You were great, Sally! Do I know you? I was your #3 attendant in scene 2. Attendants are seen and not heard. Are you going into the theater, Twig? Yes. I'm going to write plays where the pretty girls get it. Ah, revenge! The wellspring of great art.

'I have problems following my wife's plot lines.'

"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my wife!"

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

'Where did you learn to sing in double-Dutch?'

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "