The Skeptical Parent Pillows

A good school report at last...how much did it cost you?

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Baby Hairstyles.

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'It's nice to go hiking together. It gives us a chance to compare notes and figure out what the kids are plotting!'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Jim was a model Dad".

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

"Yes, there will be questions but you're unquestionably the nation's most badass mom."

young mother with a baby being bombarded by advice on parenting from older mothers

'If you shoot your foot off don't coming running to me.'

"I couldn't find a sitter."

'Don't worry he doesn't want any. he's allergic to everything except straw stuffing.'

'Can I keep him? He followed me home.'

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"My mom says you can sleep on the top bunk if your parents will sign a release form."

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"I can't right now. I have to pick the kids up then eat them."

'I've had raging hormones for the last 80 years.'

Kangaroo with multiple pockets for lots of children...

'Daddy says 'meow'.'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

Empty Nest.

DOOM! (WHICHEVER ONE WINS)

Annoy Your Parents! You've done it for real. Now, play the video game!

'... Well, I don't know where your Daddy got that idea. I have plenty of brand new bikes in my workshop.'

"It's not the captivity – I'm just not sure if I'm ready to have kids."

'I never played baseball, football or soccer. . . I grew up in the 'concussion era'.'