The Sales Warrior Gifts

'I didn't realize sales would be so competitive.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Jill Hamster's entrepreneurial disaster"

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

The Salesman

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

Sales.

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Hey! Plants are on sale again! Woo-hoo!"

'We have to go global since nobody around here will buy our product.'

'I understand this was the day you seized, Ferguson?'

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Gerald Ratner's return

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

Good morning, Boss. What're you going to do about it, Park? Are you just going to complain, or are you going to come up with an actionable plan. Complainers never do, Park, and doers never complain. I wasn't actually complaining. Our patrons buy 65% less cocoa on sunny days.

Brick Salesman

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

'Almost finished.'

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'...and what's more, my databank has more data than your databank.'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

Competitior Sales - "Now I come to the feel good factor"

'One thing is certain. It's not just a seasonal slump.'

'We now have 28 subscription cards in every issue, but we MUST HAVE MORE!'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'If you don't pay us, I'll tell all your creditors you have.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "