The Office Fans Gifts

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Dog's In Tray and Out Tray

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"What's your occupation?"

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"Benign so far."

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

'With the firm growing at the speed it has there are bound to be a few problems...'

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"Rumour has it that you're after my job."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

"The first chart is pre-Prozac and this chart is post-Prozac ... "

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"He was much more effective in the field."

The annual running of the lawyers.

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

The boss and her baby

"Julie...would you cancel my 4 o'clock please...?"

'The boss is just a carrier - he doesn't get panic attacks, he just gives panic attacks!'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"Your job could be worse and I'm open to any suggestion to make it so."