Office Culture Fan Gifts

I think that should prove once and for all that I do not tolerate name calling.

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Staff support"

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Can do...No can do

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Organization is not rocket science!

The Rubber Ball Company

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Let's Celebrate

Quality Control

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

The little engine that could delegate.

"I don't know what I want, but I do know what I don't want, and I won't know one until I see the other."

"But if you were a real boy you wouldn't be allowed to work such long hours."

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."