Office Culture Buff Gifts

"A tea-break every four hours, a rest-room with TV and air-conditioning throughout the meeting, otherwise no agreement."

'The whole floor got together and came up with a few things you could work on.'

'You know, nothing says Casual Friday like a cheese log on the watercooler.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

Nice to see you.

'Is it possible to have my desk moved away from the paper shredder?'

Now Hiring, 'I was about to ask him if he could work without supervision, when he just wandered away!'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Staff support"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

'I'm promoting you to project coordinator because you seem to have an overall view of things.'

The best financial decision I ever made.

"The new chairman has dropped the brain-storming meetings."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"At this office no two days are different."

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

'These are job perks.'

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

"Would anyone like to question my downsizing proposal?"

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'