The Headache Conqueror Gifts

District Budget Meeting: Asprin

"Class of 2008, never let the excuse 'I can't find my pants' stand in the way of your dreams."

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

To do before Saturday...

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Uh-oh it's happening aain, the feeling I'm being triggered...."

Your stress is stress-related.

"Do you cover hypochondria?"

Supermarket Merge

Transcend Dental Medication: "Prepare to let go of the pain."

'Don't be nervous but I think we're about to go LIVE on the new system.'

'Take two asprin and stick your head in the the sand.'

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

'zzz sleep.'

"Mr. Carley, would you like to begin today’s session?" "Claustrophobic's therapy session today at 2:00"

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"Well, how can I help cure your severe hypochondria if you keep cancelling appointments due to illness?"

"It's probably just stress, but let's take a look. Open up and say, ARGGGH!!!"

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Number Phobia.

"No, not us. Do something every day that scares you."

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Are we sexually compatible? Well, we both get headaches at the same time..."

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

Boss, what would you say if I told you that if you don't give me a raise, I'll go work somewhere else? I'd say "Wouldn't it be a shame if your letter of recommendation mentioned how you're an awful employee?" And I'd say "Isn't it a shame the town council has made sure this is the only cafe within fifty miles?" But the way, have you delivered my latest care packages to the council members? Very bad man.

'I'm prescribing a patch to help you get over your inhibitions. Put it over your eye and pretend you're a pirate!'

'Do you offer transcend dental medication?'

'This could end up costing a lot more than I thought -- your disease is psychocomatic!'

Break in Case of Emergency.

He did special exercises to stay calm during his evaluation.

"I'm incredibly happy - must be the medication speaking."