The End Is Near Enthusiasts Pillows

The end of the world is nigh.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Doomsday marketing

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

Letter of Resignation

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"Yjere didn't seem any point in making any supper..."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Speed Checked By Radar.

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

"Does it come in menthol?"

Mr Meier calendar

Gloria called

"They say you're only as old as your face."

"Does it still qualify as a quorum if half the participants slept through the meeting?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

Modern day doomsayer

'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last.'

"Plate tectonics is going to kill us all."

Do you have to do everything at the last minute?

"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."

Man with sign reading 'The end already happened. This is the sequel'.

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked.

Sorry you're leaving.

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"