The End Is Near Enthusiasts Gifts

The end of the world is nigh.

"The end of my favorite series is near."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Doomsday marketing

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Of course business is slow. Would we want it any other way?'

"I was a best seller! I sold millions of copies! Now look at me, a glorified coaster."

"Yjere didn't seem any point in making any supper..."

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Letter of Resignation

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

"Does it come in menthol?"

"They say you're only as old as your face."

Mr Meier calendar

"Does it still qualify as a quorum if half the participants slept through the meeting?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, lady, can't you read?"

'Well, he certainly lived every day as if it was his last.'

Modern day doomsayer

He had tried many ways to quit smoking but only one worked.

Man with sign reading 'The end already happened. This is the sequel'.

"You keep saying apocalyptic but I think you mean post-apocalyptic."

"Plate tectonics is going to kill us all."

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

Sorry you're leaving.