The Beach T-Shirts

Beaches and Social Distancing

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Holiday time.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Beach con-man.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Working Holiday

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Surf Casting

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"