The Beach T-Shirts

Beaches and Social Distancing

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

Holiday time.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Beach con-man.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'He lives for his holidays.'

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Working Holiday

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Florida - Still Gay as F**k

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

Hiding the electronics.

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.