Beach Views T-Shirts

"...and from here you get a lovely view of the harbour."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

Beach con-man.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Holiday time.

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Bring your own inflatable.

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Working Holiday

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

Surf Casting

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."