Beach Visiting T-Shirts

"The only thing that stops a bad shark is a good shark."

Souvenir Selfies.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Holiday time.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Beach con-man.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

'Thank-you God.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'He lives for his holidays.'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Bring your own inflatable.

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Working Holiday

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"That’s great, but where’s the Frisbee?!"

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."