First Beach Visit T-Shirts

"First beach?"

"Nation-building never works."

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Holiday time.

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

Beach con-man.

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

'Hold on just a few more minutes. I want mine medium well.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'Thank-you God.'

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Working Holiday

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

'Couldn't you just bring a bucket and spade like other children?'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"The tide is coming in, sweetheart!"

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

"Hello coastguard, it's my husband, he's beached"

Surf Casting

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

It beached on a pile of plastic bottles, so they were able to just roll it back out.

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

Florida - Still Gay as F**k