Thanksgiving Jokesters Gifts

Gobble

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Bug hanging up stockings

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

Cat Waits For Mouse To Come And Kiss Under The Mistletoe

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer.

Don't you yell at him, he couldn't remember where he buried you!

'Now dear, it may be Thanksgiving, but stop referring to your aunt's gallbladder as a giblet.'

Turkey Autopsy

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

"Never say you're stuffed!"

Blitzen isn't feeling well, so Mary Poppins agreed to fill in for him.

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'I hate it when he's in one of his silly festive moods.'

Santa Elevator

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

'How To Survive The Holidays'.