Texting Safety Advocate Pillows

'One guess why our guest speaker was late.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

Man using to much bug spray

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

WHO checklist

"Careful."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

Kangaroo: Baby on Board

Boozing and Cruising

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'

The first 10,000 fans got a concussion bobblehead!

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

Model employee reads 'Best Practice' document ... scruffy slob reads 'Worst Practice', with messy desk and dangerous wires.

Speeding Forklift

'This is a new electronic child-proof cap. If you can pronounce the drug's name, it opens.'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

Under Capitalism, Expensive Equipment is Always, Unlike People, Innocent Until Proven Guilty

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

"I keep telling him there's a big difference between swimming and floating."