Texting Queen Pillows

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Oymoticons

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

The Royal Wii

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'

"What never fails to anger me is that I'm always identified by my man."

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

'Son, isn't it about time you went out and conquered a country of your own?'

"Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. I've been out of the office since I got fired."

'You're just lazy! -- Don't give me that 'metal fatigue' stuff!'