Texting Queen Pillows

Cell phones seem as if they are designed for a T-Rex!

This problem began in the 1950's...

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

Oymoticons

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"I'm texting you a love poem inspired by the emoji you sent me."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

The Royal Wii

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

POLLS, 'If an election were being held today....'

Hey, Twig! Ryan Beardsley wants your cell phone number! The divine wonder of West Fester High? Finally! My life changes for the better. He needs activities for his college apps and wants to come to our shortest eco-club cleanup. Change you can believe in. West Fester High School.

'Every time I win an argument, he goes off on a Crusade to sulk.'

'Oh, that's your Grandpa -- I couldn't bring myself to cut his head off.'