Texting Master Pillows

Wanna hang later? Yep. You meatheads are standing side-by-side texting! Why not just talk to each other?! Because: Your eyeballs are burned away from staring at your screens and you can't see actual reality!!!! I hear strange rhetorical noises. Put on your iPod LOUD and they'll go away.

"Stop randomly texting angry emojis, then put your phone down and your hands up."

"You know, there are other emojis."

Oymoticons

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Moo Out Loud

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

WTF?

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

'You're texting? Wait--'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

LOOK BHIND U!

Modern Narcissism

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'It's not easy texting messages to my mom. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

The alphabet blocks are great for teaching him how to text!

An ellipsis in the sky

'My son is studying communications in college. He never writes, calls, texts, or emails his parents.'

'I haven't been in any academic journals but I do get my Tweets re-Tweeted a lot.'

'You've been texting during work hours again!. . . Your keypad is still warm!'

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

'You're entitled to one text message, 160 characters max, so you better make it count.'

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

"It's over between us Brian. . . as soon as I've announced it on twitter."

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

"Of course I love you . . . didn't you see my Twitter feed?"