Text Message Maestro Pillows

When Jews put their phones on silent

Text Culture

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Target your message

'If I can't do it by iPhone, I don't do it.'

"My best friend is my phone."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

'You're texting? Wait--'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

"I lost all my hair to the texting bubbles that came and went without saying a word."

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"Cool game!"

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

The alphabet blocks are great for teaching him how to text!

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

Sylvia helped Robert to edit one of his memos.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

"No...I said aperitif!!"

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

"Something has happened to the canary."

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

"If we stay on message, I think our silo can puncture their balloon."

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'Took me all night to write that message.'

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers