Text Message Maestro Gifts

When Jews put their phones on silent

Text Culture

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

Target your message

'You're texting? Wait--'

"My best friend is my phone."

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Beasley, you're a good communicator, look down the table and make eye contact for me!'

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

Ventriloquism For Beginners.

"And that's why we don't have nice things."

'This is Kevin O'Shea, my big sister's answering service.'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"Cool game!"

'This model sends back a pre-recorded message to any hacker.'

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

"They've already had two upgrades while we've been standing in line."

Sylvia helped Robert to edit one of his memos.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'I'm afraid you've got the wrong department.'

"No...I said aperitif!!"

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

'Thanks for the coaching, the tears did the trick: My parents bought me a mobile phone!'

"Something has happened to the canary."

Training for Emergency Broadcast System workers

Man sees box on street labeled Mail-Mail.

'Took me all night to write that message.'

'Has anyone ever told you your tweets are Hemingwayesque?'

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

"If we stay on message, I think our silo can puncture their balloon."