Textile Humorist Pillows

'You poor chump! You let them talk you into polyester pants!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

The Dandy

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

'Wow, look at all these prescription drugs that are out of date.' FLUSH 'Happy as clams explained.'

Flight Socks.

'Relax, Wilson-I'm just off to the loo.'

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

The Rural Bidet...

Cat scares away fish design on man's shirt.

"Looks like Billy clogged up the toilet again."

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

"I'm thinking of waxing my back."

Unsuitable clothing.

Circus trousers

'Let's face it, we're not meant to wear hats...'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'It's hard to look intimidating with this feather thing going on.'

'My tux is at the cleaners.'

Misguided Hairstyles of The Animal World.

'Now where did I put my knitting needles?'

'It's royal Stilton, put a tie on.'

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."