Textbook Warriors Pillows

"So ants can lift twenty times their body weight. Big deal. Who can't?"

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Examiners.

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

"Ted doesn't test well."

'Good luck with your exams' (mountain climbers).

HOMEWORK: It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it!!!

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

Final Exams Tip

'I'll pause for your moans and groans.'

"See, that's the problem with you new breed. You take rejection too personally."

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

"You know you're in trouble when you stop praying for the answers and start begging."

"'C' isn't EITHER the new 'A'!"

Beat me, kick me, make me do story problems.

Exams

"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."

"Why do I always get stuck with being the guardian angel to someone who can't seem to finish his Ph.D.?"

Good luck with all the revision!!!

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

'These literary duels really are most frightfully dull.'

"But there are no naps in the first grade."

"I feel sorry for kids these days - they're always being tested for something"

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'