Textbook Scholar Pillows

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Gone With the Wind: The Beach Blanket

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

'It's some more story ideas from Francis Bacon.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Thomas Hardy

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

K9 Literati

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

"A world without Ovid? I can't even begin to imagine a world without Ovid."

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"I've outgrown my backpack."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

Truth

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Macbeth: Take Two

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

William Faulkner

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'There have been a few niggling little concerns expressed about the lack of diversity in the supreme court.'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

"Good artists borrow, great artists steal."

Emily Dickinson Rebooted

Shakespeare's Brain

Cut out and keep your own Marcel Proust.