Textbook Nerd Pillows

"Look at this textbook, and tell me textbooks haven't been dumbed down."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

The Computer Bore

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

First Novels.

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

John Bunyan

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

When Shakespeare gets up early, on the wrong side of the bed of a stranger, and in a clown suit... Later that same day, he will commence work on 'The Comedy of Errors.'"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

Moby Dick

Jack London

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

My other cello is a Stradivari

Gloat

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

Tesseract of the D'Urbervilles.

Addicted to reading