Notebook Nerd Pillows

Dear diary, see yesterday's entry. Ditto.

"I'm writing entries in my daily dairy diary."

Note Book

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

The Computer Bore

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

WiFi Signals

My other cello is a Stradivari

'...so if we can save enough maybe, just maybe, next year we'll be migrating courtesy of British Airways.'

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

The real reason why flamingos are pink

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

Robot Grabber Arcade Game Machine

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'I would love to be more energetic, but there is nothing I can do: It's a genetic condition...'

Cliff Notes

"Sorry it's late. I got caught in Spring migration."

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

Giraffe Selfie

Why giraffes hate winter

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

"I may have been the runt of the litter, but online I'm the alpha dog."

IRS, 'I think we should audit this one, sir -- his signature looks shaky.'

'Yes you have to work Earth Day.'