Text Message Humor Pillows

Your honor, would you please instruct the witness to stop texting on his cell phone during my cross-examination? I would, but I'm the person he's texting.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"Which one is the emoji for immense relief, coupled with general underlying disappointment, tinged with cynicism, anger and apprehension?"

"Oh man... there is nothing like a cigarette after a passionate night of 'texting'!"

Modern Poetry: Text Message Haiku

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

Silent Monk Holding Placard Saying LOL.

'If we are to have effective communication with our partner organisations, it's probably best if we do not use text messaging.'

Texting in the Gilded Age.

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

God sits, wearing a shirt that says "O.M.G."

'Bummer. When they passed out textbooks, I thought we were going to study text messaging.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

"Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. From now he'll be managing all of my emoji and GIF responses in your ridiculously long family text message threads."

"If Neil could only be half the man he is in his texts..."

'You changed your relationship status on Facebook hon... is there something I should know?' 'Didn't you get my text?'

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'What? So you're going to send me all the way back there … again, just to say 'O.M.G.'?'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

Emoticon Prison.

"Give me a second. I just have to finish this text I started in the car."

Correction Fluid

Texting or no texting?

Lost ancient text.

"Tell me, where do you expect to be texting incessantly in five years?"

Willie Nelson, hold music.

"LOL!"