Text Message Humorist Pillows

"Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. From now he'll be managing all of my emoji and GIF responses in your ridiculously long family text message threads."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"It's a 'selfie.'"

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

Better Living Through Technology

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Can you do anything else?'

The First Selfie!

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

"Er, sorry guys. It didn't look this big on instagram!"

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

'He's our Spam expert!'

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

'Another failure to communicate?'

'If we are to have effective communication with our partner organisations, it's probably best if we do not use text messaging.'

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

Spam Folders

"Stop saying 'Content is King'!"

"Look at the bright side, you finally have followers."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

"I'll have my people call your people."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

Pray

"Yes. I unfriended Michael."

"This guy wants to show he has nothing to hide, so he posted a photo of himself open-faced."

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Ahab's Last Call.

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

Grandparents of the Future

"This whole 'Twitter' thing would be a lot better if I didn't have to hunt and peck."