Text Message Humorist T-Shirts

"Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. From now he'll be managing all of my emoji and GIF responses in your ridiculously long family text message threads."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"It's a 'selfie.'"

Better Living Through Technology

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

"Grandpa can't hear you. Turn on your caps lock."

'Can you do anything else?'

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

The First Selfie!

"Er, sorry guys. It didn't look this big on instagram!"

He's a statue. I told him not to friend Medusa on Facebook.

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

'He's our Spam expert!'

'I wish they wouldn't insist on using the abridged text.'

'Another failure to communicate?'

'If we are to have effective communication with our partner organisations, it's probably best if we do not use text messaging.'

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

"Look at the bright side, you finally have followers."

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Stop saying 'Content is King'!"

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

Hillary on Instagram

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

Spam Folders

Your honor, would you please instruct the witness to stop texting on his cell phone during my cross-examination? I would, but I'm the person he's texting.

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"Yes. I unfriended Michael."

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

Pray

"This guy wants to show he has nothing to hide, so he posted a photo of himself open-faced."

Grandparents of the Future

Ahab's Last Call.

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'