Text Humorist Pillows

"LOL!"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Did you get my tweet?"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

"She looks just like in your photos."

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Advertising on the internet.

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Facebook For Dogs.

"Great, the end of the world and I'm going to be first on facebook with pictures!!"

"The internet without cat pictures? No way! Make a realistic wish like peace on earth, justice for all, everlasting life, sane politicians..."

"Just right click, save as, and now you own the complete works of William Shakespeare."

'Did you auction off our house on eBay?'

"There is only one thing worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Lol. Winky face."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

'We seem to have more luck getting people to accept cookies rather than broccoli when they visit websites.'

Catroom.