Text Communication Specialist Gifts

Text Speak

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Dialogue

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

Ruddy bloggers!

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

Moo Out Loud

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

Information...political rhetoric

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Stop emailing me, I am standing right here.'

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

'Hi! I'm on the tree.'

WTF?

"'Grim Reapers' was considered too offensive, these days we're known as 'afterlife facilitators.'"

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'My father is very hard to communicate with ? he only knows nouns and interjections.'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."