Texas Traveler T-Shirts

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Welcome to Texas, no fops, dudes or dandies.

Zombie standup

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

Desert Island Meals.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Pina Coladas

'It's true what they say, you really can hear the sea in these things!'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

Vaccination Passport

Where cartoon characters go on holiday...

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

Desert Island Fantasies

PIna Colada

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

Musical genres

WPOV's (White People On Vacation)

"It's not a big deal! Everyone gets bitten by insects on holiday occasionally."

Neurotics in the tropics

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Anything to declare?'

'Two for French Polynesia.'

'It appears to be some sort of tropical disease.'

Musical Bicycle.