Test Tube Tinker Pillows

Scientist with 'bingo' out tray (which is empty).

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

Drool Marks

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Painting the Ceiling

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Digital Fomo!

Sale! Weed Whackers

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Congratulations on your retirement!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"New researches use it in daylight hours only."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Sistine Selfie

Waiting for retirement.

Guide to Carpentry Fish

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

'Swiss Army Rescue Service. How can we help?'