Test Season Superheroes Gifts

Teacher to student with spots: 'Tests make you nervous and break out in what?'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Super Student

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

'You've got the Vietnam 1000 yard stare. All new parents get it!'

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 26

'Pretty please stay asleep till the morning,'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

'When I had my baby I learned the meaning of 24/7.'

Women pay for one hour of uninterrupted sleep.

"That was before I found this amazing new way to earn $$$ working from home."

Tired - Stressed - Tired.

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

Criminal Germs

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

Add your kids' ages together...

OK, so maybe we've all overscheduled our kids a little.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

It's the Ask Sadie Advice Hour. "Batfan" in Dallas, you're on. What's your problem?! House of Java Cybercafe. My girlfriend is refusing to go see "Justice League" because she things Marvel's take on the genre is the only way to do it. How do I get her to be more open-minded and tolerant? You don't! Just become less open-minded yourself. You can't change other people, you can only seek vengeance upon them. Um ... Do you happen to have Doctor Phil's number?

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

Gertie's never been the same since she got the cape

'Well, nurse, it was a bit daft putting me next to this mirror!'

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 3

'You can't join the Federal Witness Protection program just to keep your friends from seeing your bald spot.'

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

Exam Questions Foretold

Potty Training.

"I just bought these smart headphones for parents. They mute all sarcastic remarks and complaining from my kids. I programmed them to do the same for my husband."