Test Analyst Gifts

'Okay - Let's crash that bad boy.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"We're going to run some tests: bloodwork, a cat-scan and the S.A.T.'s."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"You question my methodology? Perhaps you should question your questionology."

Progress?

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

Weapons of War Through the Ages.

"Before we test this, do you know how to fill out an accident report?"

Money Today: "Ours is a cybercurrency. It's not a virtual currency or a cryptocurrency."

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

'I was going to teach them the meaning of life ... but it wasn't on the test.'

"What? You were expecting good news? Expectations are so-o-o-o passe."

'Oh-oh- planned obsolescence!'

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

"Thank you all for attending this first conference of the surveillance camera recording industry."

Wearing all black

Facebook in Crisis

"Elon is coming! Elon is coming!"

"I can never seem to get my report in on time!"

"Notice, gentlemen, how after two hours of phone deprivation, the subject reverts to a pre-natal state."

"Now that we have ESSA, does that mean we can start leaving children behind again?"

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

.com

"I want my job back."

'It's so cool we have another test today.'

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

"Accelerate forward into that brick wall."

"So...As I was saying, nothing will actually change..."

'Tech stocks traded higher on the rumor that cars cound run on pentium computer chips.'