Territory Claimer Gifts

Claiming the North Pole for Mother Russia isn't as much fun as I thought.

"You're darned RIGHT it's a serious problem! Sales people, like goldfish, grow to fit their tanks! He's got to be transferred to a bigger territory, PRONTO!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

IRS tax instructions.

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

"Rex, come up here and mark your territory."

Carrying a bike over drawing pins.

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

'As you can see, your sales region is quite large.'

Jeep

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

"It doesn't matter if anyone heard you fall, I am sure we can get you a large cash settlement."

"OK! OK! I get the message! Your recliner, not mine!"

"That's chemical law for you. No matter how minor the damage claim, our fee is always major."

'Insurance Adjuster Rejector of the Year' 'Claims Delayed and Claims Paid Promptly'

"I was hoping you had no more territorial ambitions."

'Unsinkable.'

'I have to go and mark my domain.'

The dominant male leaves a pungent marker to identify his territory. It's a warning to others...keep away!

'I'm sorry, sir, but your insurance policy clearly states we don't cover acts of God.'

'. . . I marked this territory a month ago!'

"It's dangerous territory you're taking on, Adams. Our legal people are drafting your will for you as a precaution..."

'What do you suggest for someone who took the IRS to court and won?'

'It feels oddly familiar.'

'This is my favorite place in the whole world.'

'We've been seeing a lot of this type of injury lately.'

Home Owner's Insurance Adjuster of the Year

"Declaw ME, will they..."

"If you look carefully you'll see that all claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June and when Venus is in alignment with Mars."

The benefits agency is always willing to be flexible,but only under certain limited, clearly defined circumstances.

"After a million dollar settlement, his widow gave it to me as a trophy."

'I sue DEAD people.'

Lawyer to client: 'I don't mean to offend you by the wording, but I have to ask if you want your payment in a lump sum.'