Tension Taster Gifts

Tension filled the tent.

"States of tofu"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

My comfort zone

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

Octopi a la mode.

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Eating raw cake mix.

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"

When a nanosecond is forever.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."