Blend Taster Gifts

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"States of tofu"

Bad for you but to die for

Tension filled the tent.

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

My comfort zone

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

Big Burgers.

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Baby at Christmas Dinner

"Wine not?"

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"I am listening to my body. My body says yuk!"