Tense Detective T-Shirts

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'I'd like to report a peeping tom.'

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Weird – I think everything they watch is called, That actor looks so familiar what else have we seen him in.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

Violence on TV.

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

'You're an inspector now?'

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Worst part of diagnosis...'I have some very bad news for you.'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

'Did you see who pushed you?'

Oliver Twist - Oliver,with the Pickpocketing Artful Dodger's Mode

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

'Curious Man Discovers Magnifying Glass With His Magnifying Glass.

Yes, he looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, but you still have to prove he's a duck beyond a reasonable doubt.

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

'The victim has defense wounds. When the art challenged her, she clearly put up a fight.'

When policewomen date.

'?'He was definitely here earlier. Looks like he gave us the slip.'

Golf Crime Scene.

Nonviolent Clue.

"Admit it, we're lost."

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'I've got acid indigestion.'

Publishing Co. The editor rejected my novel about a group of buddies on a roadtrip. She said it had too many plotholes.

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"