Tense Detective Gifts

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

A boy acting suspiciously

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

'So now you sniff out drugs. That's it, no more TV cop shows.'

Violence on TV.

'You're an inspector now?'

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"I love my unreliable narrator. You?"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

"You're not leaving until we know everything."

Worst part of diagnosis...'I have some very bad news for you.'

Oliver Twist - Oliver,with the Pickpocketing Artful Dodger's Mode

'Curious Man Discovers Magnifying Glass With His Magnifying Glass.

'I gather this is your first sting operation.'

When policewomen date.

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

'?'He was definitely here earlier. Looks like he gave us the slip.'

'The victim has defense wounds. When the art challenged her, she clearly put up a fight.'

Golf Crime Scene.

Nonviolent Clue.

"Admit it, we're lost."

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'I've got acid indigestion.'

"Clever plot, but who can concentrate without some gratuitous sex and violence?"

"Watson - look! The Cheshire cat burglar!"