Tennis Clubber Gifts

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

I could have danced all night!

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Mixed Doubles.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

Dancing at the Clubs.

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

'I hate playing in an inflatable dome during a power outage.'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

'I'm 3 years old - that's 21 dog years - so start pouring!'

Novak Djokovic has his visa denied to play in Australia as he is unvaccinated

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"The club scene is really changing."

I love PE.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"We've convened this meeting today to admire the ball, and we will probably do the same thing again tomorrow."

"My therapist plays with my brain."

Dance.

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

'Cool! Where'd you learn the new step?'