Temple Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This escalator is undergoing essential repairs - Please use the steps to the right. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Priest

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

Mount Rushmore Down Under

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Moses as a child.

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Pyramid builders make the Statue of Liberty.

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

BRAND-NEW OMG-STORY

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Promised Land Signpost

Worst. God. Ever.

Mount Rushmore entertainment.

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

Renovation work at Mount Rushmore.

Pre-nuptual Nativity

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Fall in the Greek Temple

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'I really can't think of a thing to preach about this morning, so I'll take questions from the floor.'

The Pope Code

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

'Oh, I understand -- with the 'coveting' part, we can get everybody!'