Temperature Tweaker Pillows

'Ah-ah! Hands off the thermostat!'

"Yes, dear, I was cool under pressure in the boardroom. It's 58 degrees in there!"

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Guess who brought king cake!"

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm not a 'Ghost', I'm an Ectoplasmic American.'

Philip Nye – cycle chiropractor

"Anything else...apart from the wheel?"

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'I've been keeping my thermostat down to 14'

'We blow hot and cold. He argues it's too hot and I say it's too cold.'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

"It's so hard to settle on a office temperature that everybody likes."

"The best thing about my promotion? I'll be in charge of the thermostat."

Bullfighting might be more widely accepted if it had a different name. They should call it "dodgebull"! (Published originally on April 27, 2015.)

"You sure you don't wanna turn the AC down just a tad?"

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

Generational curses: 'Yeah A virus on your PC'

Amateur singers

"I think we must have accidentally set the freezers in Fahrenheit instead of Celsius."

"It shouldn't happen this way. I'll have to alter the data."

Ah Ah hands off the thernostat

'I regret to report that there's no global warming threat after all -- we just got Fahrenheit and Celsius mixed up.'

Police Dept. Public Information Office. This press release should say "We have not yet gathered evidence," not "We're clueless"!

A clerk misunderstanding the use of a thermometer.

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"

'I like this guy. He's not the best worker but here, but one of the few who doesn't complain about the office temperature!'

"I think I see some eggs in here."

"Boxing Day is cancelled this year. We're going to stop cold turkey."

"I'm staging a battle between the humidifier and the dehumidifier."

"It's a dating site that matches you solely on the thermostat setting."

"March 177th? Already?!"

"Remember, we still have to complain about these beautiful sixty degree days when it turns seventy."