Temperature Gifts

A clerk misunderstanding the use of a thermometer.

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'Ah-ah! Hands off the thermostat!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I sent out for everything.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

Bitchbark Canoe

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."