Weather Gifts

The stages of winter

A Shadow Over Groundhog Day...

In a Quandary

"Thanks, anyways. But I think I'm just gonna poop somewhere in the house tonight."

"It's wet, but it's a dry wet."

"Well, now the flood warning's been downgraded to just a light mid-afternoon sprinkle."

"Uh-oh, I think a storm has turned our valuable ocean-front property into worthless ocean-floor property."

"Cheater."

"Now, if New York were sunny and bright like Colorado, then that would be another story."

'It looks like Reindeer!!'

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'

"What is the normal temperature for this time of the year?"

"Long term I'm worried about global warming - short term, about freezing my ass off."

The Last Throes of Summer and Real Life.

"Bernard, nobody likes and 'I told you so.'"

Snow Globe Fortune Teller

spring must be on its way - the rain's getting warmer.

5 day forecast.

'Wimbledon - The British weather is causing ever more contentious line-calls.'

"The National Weather Service is warning these areas to brace for what could be a crippling amount of Instagrammed snow photos."

'Compare me to a summer's day? In this country?!' (Shakespeare unwittingly insults a lady while reciting a sonnet)

'Welcome to Florida. Do you know your evacuation route?'

"He thinks it's the weather channel."

"It feels like 90 degrees out here."

'The long-range forecast includes rain, sunshine, fog, snow, mild spells and high winds - Now prove that wrong!'

Fight for your summer.

'Apparently summer's going to start next month...'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

"Coggins, get me somebody in weather."

'Newsflash: Experts are warning that overloading the Cloud with billions of bytes could cause massive rain and flooding.'

Here's the 5 day forecast. To be honest, after tomorrow, your guess is as good as mine!

Honest Weather Forecasting

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Storm's a-brewin."

In case of prediction error: Umbrella in glass case.