Television Tension Taster Pillows

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

"States of tofu"

Tension filled the tent.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

Octopi a la mode.

Eating raw cake mix.

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"I just don't see a future for us Jane, our Netflix wish lists are just too different."

Comparative Review of the New York Post and its App

Two boys rehearsing,

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

"You're retaining water. Stop eating sponge cake."

Go on! It'll be funny!

Evil Personified $1.00

Devils and Angels

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

'How are you enjoying the ups and downs of equatorial swimming?'

'. . . of course, batteries are not included.'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

Slimline Santa

"Come to the dark side."

Twisted Peel annoys his doctor with a question about paracetamol.

"Here comes fury without purpose."

Don't mind him, I'm incredibly famous and he is my fan

"Can I have a change of venue to another media judge on another network?"

Latest: Delia loves apples.

'I don't dare look at that dessert...but feel free to describe it to me in graphic detail!'

"It was thrilling, yet terrifying. I felt like a diabetic kid in a candy store."

Genetically modified food cafe

Dieter's 'To-Do' list...