Television Tension Taster Pillows

'If you don't want to know the scores please exercise your distrust of the BBC now.'

"States of tofu"

Tension filled the tent.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Eating raw cake mix.

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

Two boys rehearsing,

"I just don't see a future for us Jane, our Netflix wish lists are just too different."

"You're retaining water. Stop eating sponge cake."

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

"Come to the dark side."

'. . . of course, batteries are not included.'

'How are you enjoying the ups and downs of equatorial swimming?'

"Here comes fury without purpose."

Devils and Angels

Evil Personified $1.00

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

Slimline Santa

Twisted Peel annoys his doctor with a question about paracetamol.

Latest: Delia loves apples.

'I don't dare look at that dessert...but feel free to describe it to me in graphic detail!'

"It was thrilling, yet terrifying. I felt like a diabetic kid in a candy store."

Genetically modified food cafe

"Can I have a change of venue to another media judge on another network?"

Don't mind him, I'm incredibly famous and he is my fan

Dieter's 'To-Do' list...

70 degrees in Spring / 70 degrees in Fall