Television Tech Aficionado Gifts

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

In the Guru District

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

Claus 2.0

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Girl with smart phone enters door that says "Social Media Studies"

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Television Readers.

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Computer Science Class 10101010101.

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"Well, the remote's not dowmn the back of the couch."