Television Runner-up Gifts

Missing the score on a split-screen TV

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

American Idle.

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Let's finish off our night of being productive by starting another season."

"Blood pressure 210/140. Heart rate 185. Steps taken 29. Sedentary 9.5 hours. Calories burned 19. You da man! Oh, and you're out of pork rinds." "Our classics TV marathon featuring 'Gunsmoke' will continue after..." "The unfitbit"

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"Celebrating Labor Day assumes you've labored at least one day during the previous year."

Birthday To-Do List

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Inactive wear store.

"I watched a Lassie marathon today and realized that I really need to step up my game."

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"Let's see what's going on in the world."

'I would've done my homework, but they kept saying 'stay tuned'.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Dad, is this like ... you doing your own thing?'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."

'Bill remembers where he was everybody died.'

"I'm going to binge watch all 600 episodes of my favorite show. I'll talk to you in a few weeks."

"Lock-downs have certainly contributed to our growth as a couple."

'A new study of people who watch television all the time reveals some shocking facts....'